On menstruation and other feminine mysteries

Sazz! If you don't want to see your beads yet, DO NOT READ THIS POST!

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It's hard to know where to begin, as I am attempting to record an entire paradigm shift in one post. Do I start from here and work backwards or from the beginning and work forwards? I think perhaps I should go from the beginning; after all you'll probably understand me best if you follow the journey I've been on.

And with that lovely mysterious beginning (and I'll bet the personal warning to Sazz has piqued your interest too), let me explain:

I used to regard menstrual periods with pretty much the same level of contempt nearly every other woman on the planet does. It was messy. It was embarrassing. It was yucky, painful (at least for some women) and it was most definitely a taboo topic around men.

Then one day a friend at church said that she had no qualms about telling her male friends and colleagues that she had her period and was not in the mood for whatever annoying thing it was they were doing. I was a bit taken aback, but had to admit she had a point when she asked what shame there was in telling them exactly what was going on. It's being honest. It's being straightforward. They're grown men; they should be able to take it. And it would probably do them a service to have a little more understanding of how women operate. And crucially, there was nothing to be embarrassed about; menstruation is simply a normal, regular part of every woman's life.

The seed was sown, but the plant hadn't quite sprouted yet. And maybe as much as a year later, to my annoyance, my periods returned only four months post-partum. I felt ripped off; I was exclusively, regularly breastfeeding and I was meant to get a much longer break than that!

However, it was around that time that I also fell in with that weird hippy lot over at Joyous Birth, and discovered women who not only didn't mind getting their period, some of them even loved it! That was a little too much for me to wrap my head around at first, but I do love a good challenge so I tried sticking with their line of reasoning for a while. And ultimately I realised that they were saying much the same thing my church friend had said: there is no shame in menstruation. Additionally, it provides women with a fantastic opportunity for some self-nurturing time, if only they would listen to what their bodies are telling them. I think it's safe to say most women feel a bit low immediately before and during their bleed. She might have headaches, feel tired, crampy, or irritable -- all signs that she could do with some rest! How good would it be if each woman took some time out to honour her cycle; do something for herself; shut herself away from the world for a little while to recuperate while her body purges the loss of another opportunity to begin and nurture a new human life?

I couldn't argue with any of this. But it went even further. What if, instead of the usual shame, embarrassment, awkwardness and sometimes even downright fear that accompanies an impressionable teenage girl's menarche, each mother took the opportunity to celebrate the beginning of her daughter's womanhood? What if, instead of treating menstruation as a curse, burden and annoyance that a woman just has to put up with for about forty years (by the way, the Bible says nothing about menstruation being part of Eve's curse -- hold that thought, I'm going to come back to it), a mother did something special for her daughter -- just the two of them? Would this not perhaps go a significant way towards instilling a greater sense of self-respect, confidence and awe at her own marvellous body in a girl's mind -- rather than the usual dose of fat-hatred and self-consciousness absorbed by a teenager that never really goes away once she becomes an adult?

I still couldn't argue with any of this, and was pretty well sold. At around this time I was also developing an addiction to cloth nappies, and felt it was only natural that I should therefore also make the switch to cloth mama pads and menstrual cups. (I will admit, however, that it took a long time to actually get around to buying some cloth pads after I made the decision to switch. But I am glad to say I inspired my sister to get moving ahead of me.) In the end I decided that the cup wasn't for me, but I do really love my collection of pads and liners! They are bright, bold and funky and because I got to choose each one, I have a custom-built collection. I also went so far as to buy a new set of underwear specifically for when I'm bleeding. Now, instead of using the oldest, ugliest, most stretched and tattered undies I own during this time, I have a fresh clean set which, in conjunction with my groovy pads, help me feel better about having my period. Small things can have a positive rather than negative cumulative effect too, if we let them!

Eventually my post-baby menstrual cycle became regular and I started ovulating again, which meant that I needed to review my contraceptive options. Having sworn off the Pill, being unwilling to use any internal devices and finding condoms a right royal pain, I began to look seriously into the Billings Ovulation Method. This meant that for the first time in my life I was studying the menstrual cycle in detail because I cared and had a genuine interest in it. And I found it to be just about the most fascinating, awe-inspiring testimony to God's creative powers ever. I know that not many people will be with me on that one; all I can suggest is that you read up about it yourself and get back to me. The human body is the pinnacle of God's creation; the female version -- as the one which is designed to nurture human life both in the womb and beyond -- is the pinnacle of the human body. The perfect rhythm of hormones, the beautiful interaction between brain, ovaries, uterus and cervix, the delicate balance which creates a small but vital window in which conception is possible... it's truly amazing stuff. God don't make no mistakes. Don't you think it's fascinating that the consistency of the cervical mucus changes from being a viscous sperm barrier for about 22 days of the cycle to a fluid that actually helps propel them towards the egg for the other 6? Or that a woman's libido increases during ovulation, putting her in a frame of mind more conducive to conception? Or that she's not just fertile all the time, because imagine how much harder her life would be as a result? Or that the natural down-time produced by menstruation gives a her body a chance to recuperate from the stresses and demands of motherhood? No, menstruation is not a curse. It's a gift.

And while I'm thinking about it, I used to be a bit miffed when I read in the Bible about a woman being unclean during her "time of customary impurity" -- because like she could help having her period! And then I realised what implications this actually had for her. She couldn't really go anywhere public. What was there for her to do but rest and spend a little less time running around, entertaining guests, tending the house and whatever other usual tasks filled her day? Being "unclean" was only a ceremonial thing. It didn't make her a sinner or less worthy in God's eyes. Similarly that business of being unclean after childbirth -- well these days that looks to me like an enforced babymoon! And just think -- she got two months for a daughter and only one for a son! (I have no idea why there was a difference based on the gender of the baby; I guess some things will just have to wait until I can ask God in person.) Maybe God ain't so mean or arbitrary after all, eh?

So, skip forward to now. My good friend Sazz recently asked me to be part of a unique collaborative project. She had her first baby a year ago and is anticipating the recommencement of her bleeds soon. To celebrate this happy occasion she decided she would like to wear a necklace made from beads contributed by some of her friends and I was given the honour of being one of those friends.

I thought this was such a great idea. The thing that most appeals to me about blessingways is the traditional labour-and-birth necklace made from beads contributed by each woman who attends the event, and Sazz's idea seemed like a terrific follow-on from that. I wanted to try and find something that had a Japanese theme if possible, since I'm here, but that was secondary to my goal of finding a really nice feature bead. I ended up going to a sewing and craft supplies shop yesterday and found what I was looking for on both counts. This was very exciting, and I wanted to share it with the world. So here are the beads (Sazz, don't look!!):

The feature bead is glass with two red (of course!) overlaid spinning spiral patterns. The other three are wooden beads with a white blossom painted over a red background, which I thought looked suitably Japanesey even if it's not strictly meant to be so.

I can't wait to see the final product. I'll bet Sazz can't either.